Kicking pessimism to the curb

I’ve been reading a lot lately about how you should get rid of things that aren’t serving you. Maybe some of these things, these reactions or thought patterns, were protecting you as a kid when you didn’t have any control or power over your own life, but now you don’t really need them, and they just don’t fit anymore. 

I think I’ve decided that one of mine is pessimism. I’ve been paying attention to my patterns and conversations and discovered that I’m pessimistic way more than I would like to admit. Moreover, every time I do it, I feel gross afterward. Why did I expend all that energy talking bad about someone who was mean to me or how unfair or ugly the world is? Did it serve me at all? It didn’t, because now I feel like one of those gross unhappy people that no one wants to hang out with too much and no one is inspired by. Seriously who listens to someone complain for 30 minutes and then walks away from that conversation thinking, “I feel so inspired right now, I think I’ll go bake some cookies for my neighbor!” The only exception I can think of is if you complain a lot about your kid, partner, or job, and it causes the other person to think about how lucky they are not to be in your situation. Haha. But those moments don’t serve me.

This practice of complaining is usually called venting; yes, sometimes I feel the need to get the bad out. Maybe now and then, I need some perspective from a friend where they say, “Yup, that was messed up,” so I’m not being gaslit by people in my life. And when you are in a position of weakness, sometimes all you can do is talk about it and share that pain with someone else so you’re not alone in it. But most of the time, I could probably get away with getting it out in a journal entry and moving on. Or maybe just venting to one person for a few minutes. But that’s not what I do; I tend to get all fired up and on a roll. I dwell on the injustice of it all. One conversation can snowball and ruin a whole day.

I decided I’d rather spend all that energy doing something creative and good in the world than just tearing down someone who was a jerk to me. I’ll go for a walk, write a blog post, build something, or read a book. I’ll listen to a podcast or pray or meditate. I’ll put that rude comment out of my mind and not let it ruin my day. I’d much rather fix it than complain about it. I can do that because I’m not weak. I have power over my life now.