Your Dream Life Isn't What You Always Imagined

“But such was the nature of dreams. They were not always recognizable, at first.” Louise Penny

I was reading my book and stumbled across this quote. The character had always dreamed of owning her own horses and raising them. She finally got her place, and had placed an order for a set of really beautiful expensive horses. At the last minute, she cancelled the order and rescued some that were about to be slaughtered instead. Sometimes you dream of something big and grand, and actually you get something that you didn't recognize at first, but is a little bit better. 

It stopped me. As I sit in my lovely home. Listening to my son giggle from his bedroom as he watches a show, snuggled in bed. Looking around the room full of stuffed animals wearing party hats, dinosaurs in mid-battle, a fluffy dog by my side. Chex mix warming in the oven. Not a person in the world governing when I go to bed, where I spend my money, what I am to do with my life, or even my tomorrow. 

I remember as a girl, laying in bed just wishing for freedom. Being an adult, being able to do whatever I wanted, making my own decisions for my life. I have that now. 

Tomorrow is my 36th birthday, and I can basically do whatever I’d like. I can go to a fancy brunch, I can go to one of a few amusement parks, I can lay around the house in my pajamas and hang out with my favorite person in the world. My kid. 

I didn't recognize it at first, but I am living the life I dreamed of. Incredible.